Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Beware of the Opinionated Mind

They are out there.  Those individuals who will zealously defend a particular belief even though the information presented before them proves it is wrong.  Trapped in a fixed mode of thinking, these individuals will exasperate and frustrate you.  No matter how you present the information they will refuse to believe you.

Usually after engaging in a conversation with these types of individuals, you will find yourself feeling as though someone just sucked the life force out of you.  Your energy will be depleted and often you will be emotionally charged with anger or resentment.  You may even begin to doubt your own beliefs.

There are some who have referred to these individuals as psychic vampires or energy drainers.  In reality, however no one is sucking your energy.  On a vibrational level, it is you who is not maintaining your frequency.  You are allowing someone else’s energy to dominant the interaction and in doing so you have gone down to their level.  So just how do you maintain your frequency?

There are three primary ways we can view a situation.  The first is through your own eyes.   The second is through the eyes of the other.  Finally there is the director which is really you as the independent observer.  If you find that you are getting emotionally dragged into a conversation or situation, it is time to move to the independent observer position.  To do this you remove your focus from the conversation and mentally step outside your body.  You become like a fly on the wall.  Usually when you do this you discover the conversation is not worth pursuing or you will see how you are allowing your energy to be manipulated. 

There are numerous strategies people use to unconsciously manipulate a conversation or interaction.  One of the most prevalent techniques is that of not listening.  If you are dealing with an opinionated mind, they will automatically shut down their physical senses.  The first sense to be turned off is sound.  They may be physically in front of you but they aren’t hearing a word you are saying.  In fact most are occupied in internal dialogue within their mind and are filtering everything you are saying through their own beliefs and perceptions.

If the information you are presenting does not fit into their tightly enclosed box of beliefs, many times they will start editing the conversation.  Usually when this happens you will find they will rewrite what you are saying and often the interpretation does not even match what you are actually saying.  At this point, you will find yourself continually saying, “I didn’t say that.”

Another strategy that the opinionated mind likes to use is put downs.  Whatever you say, they will make into a joke or they will mock you.  In this case, these strategies are based on fear.  The points you are making are endangering their belief systems and the only way they can protect themselves is by cutting you down. 

If you find yourself engaged in a conversation with someone which is going nowhere the best thing you can do is disengage.  You can change the subject or simply walk away.  To try to convert someone to your way of thinking is futile and will only disrupt your energy.  Of course, if you like arguing you can remain in the interaction but then you have to ask yourself:  What is this person reflecting back to me about my own opinionated mind?


1 comment:

  1. Simple, short, and clear: very helpful. Thanks, Beverly. What you say accords with my experiences - when reading your advice to take the stance of independent observer, I realised that this is what has worked for me in recent experiences of being pulled into intellectual "conversations" online, with aggressive and fixed-minded protagonists. I found my energy depleted, and my emotions running wild, just as you say, even just from reading their responses, and it was worse when I actually made the effort to reply. But when I withdrew into myself, and meditated, it became clear that these "conversations" were pointless - not just pointless, but damaging - as the protagonists were not absorbing or understanding what I was saying, and I was gaining only negative reactions from paying attention to what they were saying. From the clear perspective of a detached observer, it became obvious that these interactions were not a form of sharing but a form of conflict - their agenda, and not mine - and that the only positive course to pursue was exactly as you say: to disengage - to walk away. I trust that when I find myself in such a situation again, I will remember your words - and my own experiences - and not get pulled into the conflict in the first place. Thanks again for the insight.